Come Back
by RobinHoodss
Summary: Short story inspired by Lana's words at #ouatnj , what would Regina say when she visits Robins grave


Four weeks. It's been only four weeks but it feels like forever. It felt like torture. He's been gone for only four weeks. Regina was slowly loosing her mind. Was it waking up in now empty and cold bed that was the hardest or was it getting ready for it in the evening. It feels the same to her. The pain was always there, waiting for her, like an invisible being, wrapping its arms tight around her, never letting her go, never letting her breathe. Sleep's been avoiding her lately, but it didn't matter anymore. She couldn't stand sleeping in the bed that was once so warm, she couldn't bare hearing her own breathing at night instead of Robin's steady heartbeat. And so, when sleep would finally caught up with her, she slept anywhere but her room.

Henry once found her sleeping in her office chair. He worried about her. He knew his mom. She'd pretend everything was fine, she was ok, she'd help him get ready for school, go to work, then come back and make dinner, but he knew better. Maybe he was once oblivious to her ways of hiding her true emotions, but not anymore. He was standing right next to her when she burried Robin, he knew his mother was hurting. He missed Robin too. It felt good to have a father figure in his life. And legendary Robin Hood, of all of people. Once again life treated his mom cruel. She helped so many, saved everyone countless times, she deserved her happy ending. Henry felt like he failed her, like 'Operation Moongoose' failed her. He helped everyone get their happy ending but he couldn't help his own mother. No matter how hard Regina tried to pretend everything was ok, there were moments when she thought he wasnt looking and let down her guard, let grief paint her face and in those moments, Henry felt so helpess.

So, four weeks passed. First, she tried covering her pain, but all that's left of once notorious Evil Queen, known for her manipulative ways and cold heart, was Regina and her heart was bleeding. She wasn't strong enough to keep her guard always up. She knew she couldn't fool everyone. Certainly not her little prince, Henry. The mask of a strong woman she'd put on had cracks, she could tell. And definitely not Snow. That damn woman kept dropping by, whether it's at her office or her house. Regina knew she should've feel grateful for having friends who truly cared for her but all she wanted right now was to be left alone. Alone with her grief, alone with her pain, with her broken heart.

Then she tried drinking her sorrows away, but no amount of alcohol could've made her forget why she drank in the first place. Nothing could erase that image of Robin's soul vanishing before her eyes, replaying in her mind over and over. After a night in the hospital, after having a little too much to drink (ok, a lot), Whale informed her she should stop. And so she did. She had no other choice.

She considered a forgetting potion for a while but she knew she could never do it, wouldn't be able to forgive herself, because even though the memories pained her, she cherished each and one of them, because they were also her salvation. No, forgetting Robin or his love, their love will never be an option. She'll just have to live with this pain.

So here she was, at his grave. Engraved letters at his tombstone starred at her. She wanted to feel close to him, to feel his warmth again, but all that waited her here was the cold. Still, she sat down on the ground and wrapped her hands around her legs. The sun was slowly setting down and no one was at the cemetery except her. Regina turned around to check, just in case. Yup, she was alone. She snorted. That word followed her everywhere now. What a joke. She stopped herself. No, self pity isn't why she came here. She felt tears in her eyes so she blinked a few times, trying to keep them at bay. The air became a little colder so she tightened Robins scarf around her neck. It was the only thing of his she kept. Wind began to blow a little harder. A thought popped on her mind and she could hear herself saying it out loud.

-"Are you cold?"

Her voice trembled. Regina remembers how cold his body was when... when his soul left. She'll never forget it. A tear escaped her eye.

-"Do you need a blanket?", she whispered throught a cry and covered her mouth with her hand as she closed her eyes. As if blanket would've helped, she thought. Even though she was wearing a coat, Regina was shaking. Her heart hurt in her chest more than she thought was physically possible. Her eyes welled up with tears she tried to hard to suppress. She wanted nothing more than to fall in Robins arms, to hear his soothing voice, to feel loved again. Because once again love was taken from her. Once again she didn't even get the chance to say goodbye. Regina sniffed. She just wanted to be loved. She felf like her soul is ripped away and the wound keeps bleeding, won't stoo, won't heal. There will always be the pain, the loneliness, heart broken.

She began chocking on her sobs. It was just too much. He didn't deserve this. He is... **was** a good man, a good friend, a good leader, a good father. He deserved a happy life, he deserved to grow old and watch his kids grow up. He deserved to be there and see it all. He deserved to **be alive!** The pain mixes up with anger. She leans her forehead on the tombstone in front of her, as tears stream down her face. She couldn't take it anymore. Her body shaked violently as she continued though her sobs. A scream, her scream echoed through the cemetery as she hit the tombstone with her fist.

"Come back, come back!"

With every said word, she'd hit the stone.

"Why won't you come back to me?! You said you're with me always, but you left me here alone Robin. And I've been trying so hard but I'm so tired. I'm tired of pretending, I'm tired of people asking how I'm doing, because I'm a mess. I'm a mess and you're not here to fix, it. And you said you'd be here, you said..."

Words kept pouring out of her and she couldn't stop it.

"You showed me what I've been missing in my life, you showed me what life is. You thought me to love myself. You said loving me made your life complete. So come back damn it. Come complete mt life. I can't do this without you Robin. I'm not that strong. I need you. I need you to be here, I need you to come back. Come back to me ", she cried out.

Regina tried to steady her breathing when she felt two arms wrapping around her. She lifted her head and her eyes met Snows. She was the pity in womans eyes but she didn't have the strength to fight her. She let Snow rock her back and forth, like a baby, while her eyes filled with new tears. Regina let her hand fall protectively on her stomach.

"He'll never get to meet our child", Regina whispered.

Was it possible life could be that cruel, Snow thought, as her heart broke for the woman she once considered her mother.


End file.
